I miss him.

 Tomorrow is Carlos's Birthday.  I miss  him.  

He was born on July 19, 1956.  He passed away on 1/14/2021.  We had a memorial for him at the Optimist Club in Pembroke Pines.  

At the Optimist Club baseball field, Ramon and LMT participated in the Celebration of Life of Carlos Lopez.  There were more than 100 attendees. Considering this was during a pandemic where everyone was encouraged to not gather, that is saying something.  

Present were Betty Juan Lopez & Carlos and Betty’s 4 kids: Melissa, Stephanie, Carlos “Chuckie” and Gabriel “Gabby”.  Each child came to the park with their significant other: Chuckie with Alejandra, Gabby with Shelby, Melissa with her girlfriend, and Stephanie with her boyfriend. Most of the Lopez-Trigo’s were there: LMT & Ramon, Elena & Elena’s boyfriend-Grant, and Paula were present. Cristina was out of town in Georgia where she lives and Robbie was busy working for Apple. Rob worked for Apple till 9pm and then needed to work on coding for his IT boot camp. Others present were: 1) Gus Caballero and his wife Lilly; Gus and Carlos Lopez were friends and Gus temporarily worked with Carlos; 2) Pedrin and his wife Lourdes; Pedrin is Betty’s brother; 2) Teresa, Glenn, & Frederica, Glenn’s girlfriend;  3)  Ana & Armando and their 2 daughters: Emily and Jennifer; 4) Rosa Maria; 5) Marta, the second cousin of Betty Juan Lopez. 6) Friends of Carlos and Betty and their children : Camping friends and sports-related friends and work friends including Del, Carlos’s former boss; 7) Elvis, a La Salle alumni, and classmate of Ramon. Juanpi could not make it since he had an upset stomach. Paula & Rosa Maria broadcasted the event via zoom to Cristina, Juanpi, Anna Julia, Josh, and Danny. The music that was playing were all of Carlos’s favorites. LMT & Ramon entered the park via west fence entrance in the area to the right of first base & beyond the baseball diamond. The main table up was up against the west fence and to the right as one entered the baseball field. On the table were numerous frames containing photos of Carlos with family and friends during the many stages of his life. Hung on the fence in back of the table and to the right was a photo of Carlos and to the left of the table was another copy of the same photo. This photo of Carlos seems to capture his essence and is one of his kids’ favorite images of their father taken while he was sitting by a lamp. On the table were also bouquets of flowers and a box with numerous lined stationary papers each labeled Memories. The attendees were asked to write a memory they had of Carlos. LMT wrote: “Carlos I remember talking to you when my child and your child were both ill. I wish I could have had more of those conversations with you!” Other tables were set up against the north fence. The tables had chicken wraps, fried boneless chicken, pastelitos, croquetas, Colombian empanadas, cupcakes, and assorted drinks in coolers with ice. Drinks included soft drinks and Francis Ford Coppola Sofia sparkling Rose wine. LMT ate 3 fried boneless chicken pieces & a Colombian empanada and drank a cup of Rose wine. At first every one set up their chairs and tents and mingled and ate and drank and talked while social distancing and while wearing masks due to COVID-19 Pandemic!. 

Rosa Maria opened the ceremony by talking about Carlos. She said that when he married Betty, his main role in life was to be Betty’s husband and a father to Melissa, Stephani, Chucky and Gaby.  She said he did his best for all for them.  She said that he has not left.  He is still here, among us.  And he is very proud of what his family had done for him and is now doing. Rosa then led everyone with “The Lord’s Prayer”  

Melissa followed with a story of how Carlos was always quiet and set the example of making things not so complicated. She said  Carlos was not prone to anger except when it came to sports. She told us of one particular event where she was on a volleyball team and the coach did not let her play at all. After the game Carlos went to the coach and started yelling at him. He said to the coach: “How can you not put her in; she is only 10 years old.”  Ramon thinks that what he meant was that at 10, after working so hard, not being put in to play the game, even for a while, can leave a lasting impression on a child. This was Ramon’s impression since he has had the same feelings. .

Stephanie followed up by saying he was a simple man who enjoyed life. He worked very hard; but he always made sure that he enjoyed life. Chuckie talked about how he provided for his family and at no time did he ever complain about it. He worked very hard.  Even towards the end, when he returned home, he woke up, and started saying that he had to hand in a lot of work assignments to Del, his former boss before Carlos set up his own company!  Ramon was behind Del at the time and just saw Del look down. Del was with the company who gave Carlos many of the cases. Del also helped Carlos and is helping Chuckie with the business right now.  

Gaby then talked about Carlos. Gabby said that Carlos was always there for him always there to converse with him.  No matter how late Gabby got home, he could speak with his dad and his dad was always there to listen and talk about Gabby’s problems. 

Gus Caballero then spoke about how Carlos and he were both Dolphin fans to the extreme and today Gus wore his Dolphin Jersey, which Gus got when he turned 60, in honor of Carlos. A fellow member of the Cuban American Camping Association otherwise known as the “ CACA” club also spoke and said Carlos loved to go camping with him and another gentleman, whose wife is from New York. Carlos would always greet her with a New York accent saying “So How you doing?” similar to how Joey in the TV show “Friends” would greet others! He said Carlos just enjoyed to sit around and share food and drinks and carry on “small talk” - conversation with his fellow campers. 

Ramon then spoke of childhood memories of Carlos. Ramon spoke of one particular memory of Carlos; he believes it is his earliest clear memory. Carlos and Ramon for some reason both slept in the same bed when they were children. There was a reason, but Ramon does not remember what it was. Apparently, during the night, Ramon would move in bed and hit Carlos while asleep. Carlos kept talking about dividing the bed in half; Carlos drew an imaginary line. Ramon did not know how he would be able to know where the imaginary line was, particularly when he was asleep, so Ramon kept coming up with ways of building a barrier. Carlos just kept it simple. The imaginary line was sufficient. Carlos and Ramon were treated as one in those days. It was always Carlos y Ramon. One word: Carlos y Ramon. One time a stranger said Ramon y Carlos; no one answered since it was said it reverse.  It was always said: “ Carlos y Ramon”. Carlos y Ramon did everything together. We learned English together.  Papi would teach us English. We had one book.  Papi was able to teach us only a few sentences. We only knew one verb.  When we arrived in 1965 Carlos was 9 and I was 8.  We were both placed in the same school. It is amazing how much easier things are when you have a big brother in the same class. Carlos and I were together in Coral Way Elementary.  

The first day, Mrs. Lecours gave us an assignment. We could not leave until we finished it. We had to write 10 complete sentences.  I remember all the other students left because it was time to go home and they had finished the assignment. Carlos and I remained in the back of the portable classroom, trying to think of how to do the assignment. I remember I asked Carlos “Carlos tu sabes que es un sentence?” (Carlos do you know what a sentence is?).  I think his first sentence was “I have a book”  mine was “I have a tree”. We were there for quite a while. I am not sure how we were allowed to leave. I know we did not write 10 sentences. This was a mixed classroom.  Half of it was for third graders, the other for fourth graders.  I was in third grade and he was in fourth grade. We did not sit together.  In fact I sat on the second seat in the second row.  He sat way in the back in the fourth or fifth row.  During class I would look back to find him and he was always there. One day, after around a week, Carlos was transferred to another school, Citrus Grove Elementary.  In order to arrive early at school, Carlos had to wait for a school bus to pick him up and take him there. This change alarmed me since it was the first time we would not be together. 

I remember looking back, searching, and he was not there.  I got a bad a feeling.  A feeling similar to the one I am feeling now. I look around this field and I see all of you.  I am expecting to find Carlos and I cannot find him. But, I know he is here. At the event, Ramon was pleasantly surprised to see Elvis a fellow alumni from Ramon’s La Salle class of 1975.  Ramon, LMT, Paula, Elena and Grant spent some time speaking to Elvis.  Elvis wrote an email to the  Class of 1975 alumni:  “Yesterday’s memorial to Carlos Lopez, brother of our beloved Dr. Ramon “Moose” Lopez, was a very nice event.  The family set up this beautiful tribute, with a custom-made banner and photo table with flowers. This was against the outfield fence of a baseball field at a park, a place which was significant to his brother.  Overall Ramon thought it was a beautiful event.  His family said goodbye to him in a way he would have been proud of.  

This park was were Carlos would help coach his kids; Melissa and Stephanie in volleyball and Chuckie and Gabby in baseball. As the family was packing up; to the sounds of Jimmy Buffet singing Changes in Latitude, Changes in Attitudes: It's these changes in latitudes, changes in attitudes / Nothing remains quite the same / With all of our running and all of our cunning / If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane.

Ramon kept thinking that it was a very fitting ending to a wonderful afternoon.