Chuck Mangione passed away today.

 

I first became aware of Mangione in late 1975.  I was listening to Chase the Clouds Away.  It was released in 1975 by A&M records. I was cleaning out Robert’s records.  I was listening to it, sitting in my bedroom, a Florida room, in my parents’ house.  This was also Robert's room when he lived with us.  I remember I cried, not really knowing why.  I was still affected by Robert's passing.  I still have those records, although they are in storage, currently in one of the bedrooms in my own home.  It will be 50 years to the day this November since that day. 

Robert is my brother.  I use the present tense purposely.  He was shot and killed on November 7 of 1975.  I was taking calculus at the time.  I was very much affected by his death, although I did not realize it at the time. I always found it curious that on the calendar it was also the day after my sister’s birthday.  Always wondered how to remember that. 

Thinking about it now, it is strange.  Robert was the oldest of my siblings.  My mom and dad wanted him to avoid military service for Mr. Castro.  He was sent over to Miami, with my sister Teresa, in 1961 and his aunt and uncle.  We would not see either of them until our arrival in Miami in 1965. To have him face such an ending in 1975 sounds horrible, and it was. 

To this day there are certain songs that really bring him back.  One of these was Dave Clark Five’s Over and Over.  We had the 45rpm of it.  One time, he and I went to downtown Miami in I believe 1966 and he saw at the Walgreens store an album by the Dave Clark Five, and he bought it.  It was Dave Clark Five’s Greatest Hits.  He really liked the album, and he used me to convince himself to buy it.  It cost around $5, so it was a big investment.  I must have been 9.  He 14.  Just gives me the creeps we were in downtown in Miami at such young ages by ourselves.  That was the first long playing album we had ever bought.  I think I still have the album, although I am not sure.  I inherited all his albums in 1975.  

There were other records which he would buy, that I still remember.  For Your Love, by The Yardbirds and Your Song, the Album, by Elton John.  I remember getting the album by Elton John.  It was released in 1970.  Elton John was not well known.  I remember looking for the record at the J. Byron’s in downtown and not being able to find it. J. Byrons was the store for records at that time.  It was important for me to find it, so I asked one of the salesmen and he did not know.  He said look in the miscellaneous section.  I did and I found it.  I was proud of myself.  It was not every day that your older brother asked you for something and you come through.  I never did tell him how difficult it was to find it. I still have that album.  I mean the original album which he asked me to buy that day. When I listen to any one of those songs, I am still brought back to him. Such is the power of music.

My brother’s name was Roberto Lopez de la Vega.  Mine was Ramon Lopez.  People who knew both of us would never know we had the same parents. We had slightly different last names; we do not look that similar. It kind of depended on who handled your papers at the airport what your name became.  I never knew I had a choice so when they asked me my name, it was Ramon Lopez.  His, which he got four years earlier, included our maternal surname, de la Vega.  He would use both surnames since there were two other Roberto Lopez’s in his class.  Robert started out as a freshman at LaSalle High school, class of 1970.  I was in Coral Way Elementary in fourth grade at the time. I did not speak a word of English.  Robert and I never went to the same school at the same time. I kind of always followed in his footsteps 5 years later.  

We would listen to the same type of music.  This was not a coincidence.  When you have an older brother you admire, you tend to listen to the same songs, same music.  You tend to emulate a lot of the things he did.  From Robert I had a preview of every teacher we would have.    Brother Ramon was my favorite teacher.  Robert really liked him.  I knew that since Robert spoke about him often.   I could see why Robert liked him.  Robert played football, right guard.  His favorite subject was Chemistry.  He was in the chess club.  These are all things which I also did, although I do not know if I was trying to emulate him or just that we liked the same activities.  He was also in track and field and Key Club. 

At the time the cost to go to LaSalle was $18/month for the whole family.  Since we had three children attending at the same time, it was a good deal.  During his senior year the cost of going to LaSalle increased to $25 per student per month.  I remember my mom and him talking about it.  The cost kept increasing on a yearly basis.  When I finished in 1975, it was $60 per student per month.  As the family got older it became totally unaffordable.  This is why our two youngest siblings went into the public school system rather than stay in LaSalle.  

Robert really liked music.  Early on he formed his own band.  It was known as the Isles of Langerhans.  They isles of langerhans are also the organelles in the pancreas responsible for making insulin.  He told me that although at the time that information was secondary.  Diabetis had not affected our family as much.  Robert's group used to practice with the Antiques, which was a much more popular band. I know one of the members of the antiques, only because they remember Robert.   I recently saw him and we spoke.  He gave me some sample recordings of him still singing.  Nice guy.  Robert played the drums.  He would practice at home, but there were a lot of complaints.  It was too loud.  He was very proud of his drum set.  It was made by Pearl.  The skins were Ludwig. I am amazed that I still remember this stuff. I do not really know why. Only later did I realize the brand Ludwig was due to being Beethoven's first name.  I do not really know that.  That is what I assume. 

Robert would always tell me about his experiences in the band.  As the complaints from the neighbors became louder and since there was no way for us to air condition our home, he decided to change instruments.  He began playing a Spanish guitar.  I remember when he bought it at a store on eighth street.  It sounded great! He traded in his drum set.  I also still have that guitar.  Although currently it has an extra hole.  It also makes a funny noise when you play the C chord. I also inherited the guitar.  I have not played that guitar in years.  Actually, I have not played any guitar in years.  I still have it though.  

Robert graduated from LaSalle in 1970.  He went for one year to the University of Miami and then finished up with three years at Gainesville graduating in 1976.  He majored in Chemistry.  He would return every summer to our house in the Roads.  He would always come back and teach me several songs on the guitar.  These songs I still play, when I do play guitar which is currently seldom.  In fact those are about the only songs I play.  

I lost another brother around 4 years ago.  Carlos.  I miss him but I have not been able to write about him.  This is partly because of how I miss him.  I will write about him.  Robert died 50 years ago.  Carlos only four.  It is difficult. 

 

 

 

 

Meeting K. Barry Sharpless

 In January 1986, I was working as a Post Doctoral Research Associate at the UM; go canes!  We were working on a project and a group from MIT invited our group to collaborate on some work on the development of titanium catalysts in the synthesis of several types of medications.   We were invited to go to MIT to present our findings. 

By the way MIT is in Boston, or a suburb of Boston.  It is really cold!!!  I had to borrow by brother in law’s winter jacket and his gloves.  I lost one of the gloves on the way back.  Did I say it was really cold in MIT?  It must have been evident since when I arrived all those present worried about the Cuban guy from Miami and asked how I felt.

Travelling has always been difficult for me.  I do not know if it is psychological.  When I was small the only goal was to travel to Miami and I guess I make it more difficult than it really is.  Also, Cristina was 3 and a half, it was not easy to find someone to take care of her even for a couple of days.  Elena was just about to arrive.   Lourdes was feeling very uncomfortable.

The project we were working on was very interesting. Imagine a group of 28 faculty and students discussing my work.  Some of these professors I had only read about   It really was exhilarating.

Professor Sharpless seemed like a very nice man.  He kind of looked like Tim Conway.  Apparently, he liked me since he really wanted his group and I to spend time together.  He showed me this new computer from Apple.  It was called a Macintosh.  They invited me to go sledding in the snow the next day.  I could not go. The group was intense in having me extend my stay.  I just could not.  I was not sure how Lourdes was going to feel; not about having me stay but being alone with one child, one on the way and doing her residency at Mt. Sinai.  She was already uncomfortable.  There were no cell phones then, I could not really speak to her. They offered me first class seats for the trip back if I would stay.  Professor Sharpless offered me a job. Again I declined.  To this day I have never seen snow; I have never gone sledding. I could not see myself establishing a home base in Boston with two young children without my mom’s help. I counted on her for everything.  He offered me a position at MIT as a post doctoral researcher.  Again, I turned it down.  I just could not do it.  

This was shortly before Lourdes’s due date.  My beautiful Elena was about to be born. Elena is a beautiful young woman now.  She is a physical therapist treating cerebral palsy patients at Nicklaus Children’s Hospital. Elena was born in March of that year.  Cristina is a speech therapist working in the neonatal ward in Children’s Hospital of Atlanta, I am very proud of both of them. 

I never thought much about MIT until 15 years later in 2001 when Barry Sharpless received the Nobel Prize in Chemistry for the work he was doing in 1986. You kind of look back and say… What if??

I have never regretted my decision.  I know who I am and what is important to me. I have told that story to my students as a way of letting them know that they have to live their life and their dream; not someone else’s.  Others might have taken a different turn at this point.

I had forgotten all about having had the opportunity to attend MIT and work with a future Nobel Prize winner.

Recently the Chemistry Nobel Prizes were announced.  Barry Sharpless was the winner of second Nobel Prize in chemistry. This is almost unheard of.  This time I did not ask what if?  I know who I am.

Be well my friends; Fight on. 

Moose

Brief trip to St. Augustine

This Saturday my sister, Sister Rosa, SSJ moved back to St. Augustine to take a position at St. Joseph’s High School in St. Augustine.  She will be living at the Mother House, a convent in St. Augustine, Florida

I went to ILS to help her pack and also to have breakfast.  When I arrived, I saw Coach Grosso.  He was very happy to see me.  I started thinking back to 1986.  Rosa had decided to join the Sisters of St. Joseph.  After several years as a sister, she was going to take her vows.  The first time one takes their vows, they do it at the home parish of the Sisters of St. Joseph, St. Augustine. The second set of vows are taken at the home parish of the candidate.   In Rosa’s case it was Sts. Peter and Paul.

I was at the University of Miami and was finishing something and could not leave early.  So I hurried home.  I hurried so much that I got a speeding ticket.  That is the only time I have ever gotten a speeding ticket.

I went home to pick up Cristina and Lourdes.  We left Elena in care of our babysitter.  We felt a six hour trip to St. Augustine, to sit in a ceremony was too much for a 4 month old baby. 

The whole family was going on road trip.  We were going in several cars, three I think, but there may have been more.  At this time there were no cell phones.  The cars could not communicate with each other while on the road.  Carlos was driving one car.  In his car was mom, her twin sister, tia Maria and dad.  When dad and mom dated, many times Tia Maria was the chaperone.   To them it was probably  like the old days.  In my car was Lourdes, Cristina, and one of my siblings, but I do not remember which one.  Tia Maria had travelled from Bogota, Colombia either for this purpose or the event was planned around her trip to Miami.  She could only visit once every five years or so to see the family.  Whenever she was able to get here, it was a special time for us.  I miss her.  Come to think of it, I miss everyone in that car.

I decide to follow Carlos to St. Augustine.  We fold out the map and plan our trip. We began the trip, it was fun.  Cristina behaved, she was three and a half years old.  As I follow Carlos, somehow he lets me know he needs gasoline.  He decides to get off in the first exit available.  I follow him.  We realize that the exit is the beeline expressway.  There are no gas stations in the area; at least there were none at that time.  Carlos and I stop on the side and decide we need to turn back, my mom was nervous. Both of us carefully make a U- Turn across the median and get back on I-95.  Somehow we find gas. 

 The whole family arrived at a little motel in St. Augustine.  I remember talking to Carlos and just hearing what I call the most beautiful sound ever.  The sound when your parents are together laughing hysterically and they look and sound like children once more.  They were talking about the trip.

While driving when they first realized that they were about to run out of gas and there were no gas station, mom said “coño!”.  This was unusual to Tia Maria and Tia Maria would says “Pero Rosa” in a disapproving but kidding tone followed by a sign of  the cross.  Dad would laugh. Tia Maria would say  “Pero Rosa”  because she was kind of shocked that her twin sister would say that word.  Mom would not realize why dad was laughing so much.  They kept driving.  When it became certain that they were running out of gas, mom says: “coño!”.  Tia Maria would say “Pero Rosa” followed by a sign of  the cross.    and my dad would laugh.  This kept repeating itself.  When they were taking the illegal Uturn across the median mom said “coño!”.  Tia Maria would say “Pero Rosa” followed by a sign of  the cross and my dad would laugh again.  I was not in the same car but,  I remember them telling me that story and laughing, all of them with full bodied laughter. I remember that so vividly.  I would love to hear that just once again. 

We went into the room, and I believe we ordered Pizza.  Cristina became nervous and had a meltdown.  She wanted to go home.  I remember just lying next to her, sleeping beside her so she would calm down.  She did.  All of us fell asleep.

The next day when we woke up and got dressed we went to church and later had breakfast.  It was surreal. 

All of the sisters from grade school and high school were present.  It was one of those “This is your life” moments.  The strange thing was that all of them had different names.  Sister Anselm was now Sr. Margaret.  Sister Denise was Sister Elizabeth.  Sister Louise Angela was there.  Sister Ann Raymond also.  I am now forgetting who was there but all of them had different names.  I think back on it and feel like I was in an episode of the twilight zone.  Sr. Theophane was present but remained upstairs, and there were three sisters Theophane.  I spent most of the time chatting with these ladies and kind of getting to know them at a different level.  I remember I was having a hard time with their names.  I had only met Sr. Anselm after Ms Flynn left the school.  I do not know why she left.  She was handling 57 students, my fifth grade class.  The class really was out of control.  Sr. Anselm took her place and later on I would think of her as The Fixer.  Whenever she wanted to move you she would grab you by the skin just above the back of the elbow.  It hurt. All through the time I was speaking to her I would keep massaging the area just above my elbow.  Several of these ladies would walk in the afternoon by my house and since we always had a game going on, they would join us for a game of volleyball, or badminton. I would always think Sr. Louise Angela as the lady with the clicker.  I kept looking for other sisters from the past.  Some of them were now elderly and did not come down from their rooms.  I wanted to meet Sr. Agnes Therese but she had left the convent.  Rosa recently told me she visits the convent every now and then.  It was the same with Sr. Jacinta one of our sixth grade teachers (for 6-1), she had left the convent.  I am not sure if the Huber sisters were there or not.   The problem is that the sisters are difficult to track down.  In 1974 they all had an option of whether to return to their actual name or to continue using their “adopted’ name. 

Throughout the ceremony, I just remember looking at mom, and dad and Tia Maria and how proud they were of Sister Rosa.

Fight on LaSalle

 

Married Housing

 

Lourdes and I lived in married student housing at the University of Miami.  We had our first child while living there, Cristina.   It was a wonderful apartment.  The apartment had no air conditioning, so we had to leave the windows open.  It was very warm.  It was termite infested.  It was a wonderful place. The apartments were built in 1926 or so, surrounded by a nice playground.  Sometimes the swing sets had swings.  That did not mean a thing.  It was a wonderful apartment.   Right across the playground, there lived a trumpet player.  Every afternoon you would hear the trumpet player playing beautifully, practicing.   Every time I hear a trumpet playing a solo, I am reminded of playing with Cristina in the playground with no swings. I loved the place, not only because it was our first home as a family but due to many other attributes including my fellow students who also lived in the complex, and it was cheap.  Oh, and we were right across from the Howard Johnson’s on US1 across from the UM.  From our bedroom, I could see inside the lobby of the Howard Johnson’s. 

In many ways those were difficult days.  Lourdes had finished medical school.  She was in residency at Mount Sinai Medical Center.  Cristina was still very young, she was still in her crib asleep in the same bedroom we slept.

It was a great place to walk with Cristina once she was old enough.   Of course, a couple of times we had to evacuate the building due to termites being so bad.  They had to fumigate.  Sometimes, Lourdes and I  would walk with or carry Cristina from our apartment to either Haagen Daz or Swensen’s or Howard Johnsons or Baskin Robbins. The key was ice cream.   We frankly just wanted to tire Cristina out so she could sleep soundly. The ice cream was a bonus for her… and me.   

Lourdes was in pathology rotations at Mount Sinai Medical Center.  I was in a postdoctoral appointment in the main campus.  She was going through a program at the Medical Examiners Office.  In this program she had to visit crime scenes with the coroner’s office.  I had a more flexible schedule. 

On a typical day, at 2am after Cristina was asleep, Lourdes would get a call via a beeper provided by the coroner’s office.  I do not know why but it was usually at 2am.  She would call the number.  The conversation would be as follows.  You will pick me up…usual place…ok see you then.  She had to visit a crime scene, usually a murder or suicide. Lourdes would get dressed and leave the apartment at 2am.  She would walk across the street to the Howard Johnsons.  This was the arranged place. 

The police was very considerate. They did not want a young lady to drive by herself to what by definition was a crime prone area so they would pick her up.  She would sit in the lobby of the Howard Johnsons, while I was pretending to sleep in our bedroom.  There was no air conditioning. So, I could hear the police patrol car approach.  From the bedroom I would keep my eye on Lourdes.  The other one I kept on Cristina.  I worried since my wife  was alone at 2am waiting in the lobby of a hotel in the middle of US 1.   No cellphones then.  She would then stand in the corner at the entrance of the Howard Johnsons and a marked police car would approach.  She would get into the car.  If Cristina would wake up, I would try to get her to go to sleep once more. I would then go back to sleep. Since we had no air conditioning you could hear the sound of traffic.  It was a great apartment.  If the termites were swarming, I would turn one light on so they would go to the other room.  Every other day the scene was repeated.  My wife would leave the apartment at 2 am, stand in the corner and be picked up by a marked police car.  I would then try to get Cristina to fall asleep again. This sometimes would take a long time and this was inconvenient since I had to go to work myself.

I often wondered what my fellow students and neighbors thought.  Poor guy, wife leaves the apartment at 2am, returns around 6am and he is totally oblivious to the situation.  And, not only that, she goes to the same place and is picked up by the police at 2 am.  That couple must not be very bright. 

It was a wonderful place. 

I would learn a lot during that time.  Going to the lab in the morning, taking Cristina to the sitter’s.  Lourdes would sometimes return later that morning, or go straight to the Medical Examiner’s Office.  After I took Cristina to the sitter, which in many cases was Lela, I would go to the laboratory to learn all about cobalt compounds.  I was tired before I got there.  On the weekends, Lourdes would take care of Cristina.  I would go to  work trying to do my research. 

Lourdes and I probably learned the most important thing we would ever learn during that time. We learned to be mom and dad.   

Proctoring an Exam

 

So here I am again, proctoring an exam. 

Today it is biochemistry exam for aspiring medical students.   I have nothing to do so I think. 

I keep thinking back on how many times I have done this. I remember back when I was a student at the University of Miami.  I was so nervous when taking my first exam in Chemistry.  It was at the Leaning Center, with Professor Henry Hubinger, LC 180 was the room.  I remember the number since I would teach in that room 30 years later.   I was so nervous.  I would always stare straight at the paper.  Always made sure that there was no possibility of anyone thinking I was cheating. All students were crammed together in alphabetical order.  I sat next to someone whose last name was Lopez.  I had Lopez’s on both sides.  My fellow students always told me there was so much cheating.  I was so naïve. There probably was a lot of cheating.  I just was not aware of it.

I kind of enjoy proctoring exams.  There is really nothing to do.  It gives you the opportunity of doing nothing.  To just think.  I like to observe the interaction among young ladies and gentlemen.  A lot of the body language tells you who likes whom, who is interested in whom.  Who is talking to whom.  There is a lot that can be interpreted via body language.  There is a lot of nervous energy which I kind of appreciate.  In fact, when I do proctor, I also get nervous.  That is what really takes me back to that time; the reminder of how I felt when I was taking an exam, almost 50 years ago in Professor Hubinger’s  class at 8 in the morning in LC180.  There are few things that will remind you of a feeling you had. 

Things have changed so much since 1975.  At the time, I remember wanting to buy a calculator.  I was one of the few who did not have one.  I would use my slide ruler.  I was very grateful to Brother Ramon for teaching us how to use it.   I remember he had a wearable one. Howard Moore also had one in Chemistry at FIU.  Another person did not even have a slide ruler.  He just used log tables to carry out the math; another student used an abacus.  I went through the whole semester without the calculator.  The day of the final, I decided to take the plunge and buy one.  My uncle, recommended the Hewlett-Packard HP 15, with gold contacts.  I could not afford that one.  It was priced at $310.  On the day of the final exam, I went to the UM Bookstore and asked for something a bit more economical.  I saw the HP-21 with silver contacts.  It had a sale price of $125.  I thought I got a great deal.  It could multiply, divide and had all the trigonometric functions.  I bought it the same day of the final, not the wisest decision.  I opened the very noisy package right before the exam.  I was happy since I needed to use a calculator.  I remember looking at the first question.   I took out my HP 21, with silver contacts and put in the first number followed by an operation, followed by the second number.  Only one problem…… I could not find the equal sign.  I kept looking for it, there was no equal sign.  I could not believe it.  Laughing to myself I remember thinking: “how much more would it have cost to get the equal sign?”  Luckily, in my back pocket, I still had my slide ruler.  I used it for the rest of the exam.  I did okay.  I do not know why I remember all this stuff. 

I was once proctoring a general chemistry exam as a graduate teaching assistant at the University of Miami.  I was somewhat surprised when one of the students taking the exam, looked just like my dad.   I would always treat him with Usted. I kind of wanted to find out why he was there.   I kind of admired him for doing this.  I would show so much respect.  He really reminded me of dad.  One day I caught him cheating.  He did not remind me of my dad any longer.  I was not judging him; who knows what his history was.  But, he was cheating.

As a professor, the worst experience I had while proctoring was when I taught Quantitative Analysis.  It was the day of the final.  I was going through a lot at the time and did not put in as much time writing a good examination as it requires.  During the exam students were really struggling.  One of the students comes up to me and says: “I do not feel well.”  He was perspiring heavily.  He thought he was going to faint.  I grabbed both his hands and he was cold and clammy.  I sat him down.   I asked him if he was diabetic, he said no.  (I thought he was having a low glucose episode).  I called 2911, the number you are supposed to call at FIU.  Picture a whole classroom of students taking an exam and the paramedics and police officers are in the front of the class, working on one of their friends. Thankfully, it was not serious.  Apparently, the young man was just having a panic attack.  They took him to the hospital for observation and was released soon after.  I was so embarrassed.  I felt that if I had done a better job writing the exam, this would not have happened.  Even now, the police officers laugh and ask me:  Just what did you ask in the exam?  They point towards me remarking, there, that’s the one, referring to how difficult an exam I wrote.   I obviously was very generous that semester when grading the exams.  The student was one of the best students and received an A in the class.  It really was a difficult exam.

I have always liked teaching because it reminds me of how I felt when I was the students’ age, when I was going through what they are going through now.  This was a very enjoyable time in my life. It reminds me of my own experiences.  Now it also reminds me of how different things are.  The phones have made things so different.  Social media has made things so polarized.  Students believe they have mastered a topic only because they can google it to get the answer.  They feel they do not have to learn how to use the slide rule, they do not have to learn how to use a calculator, even one with reverse polish notation.  In my time, students might share notes in order to make sure they have all the material they need.  Part of the exercise was in searching for and understanding  the material. Now all the notes are shared using a classroom management system.  It Is not who you know but what do you have access to.  Students do not have to rely on each other to practice problems, these are provided by the book companies.  I am soon to take a course on Artificial Intelligence provided by the University of Florida.  It is meant to teach us (teachers) how to use AI in our classes and how to look out for students who are using it in their assignments.  With the advent of AI, who knows what awaits us. 

I look forward to it.

 

The main reason I started writing this blog was for our children. and grandchildren.   Abuela Rosa and Abuelo Roberto had 9 children. They in turn had 17 children of their own (so far). These are Cristina Elena, Elena Lourdes, Paula Isabel, Roberto Juan, Glenn, Laura, Melissa, Stephanie, Carlos, Gabriel, Daniel, Anna Julia, Nicholas, Jennifer, Emily, Eva, Mia and three great grandchildren, Lukas, Sophia, Emma and now Enzo Carlos. A few years ago Anna Julia asked me about Roberto, our eldest brother. She wanted to know more about him. I responded with this letter which I have expanded. I would like to share it with the rest of the family.  

Dear Anna
The closest person of the family to Roberto was Teresa. Carlos and I actually did not know him very well at first since he arrived here in the United States in 1961 and we stayed in Cuba until 1965. Lela Rosa and Lelo Roberto were afraid that he would be drafted into military service so they sent Teresa and Roberto ahead of the whole family. In Cuba at that time the boys would be drafted at the age of 12 years old. Once they were in school things would happen like they might be sent to the farm to cortar caña (literally means cut sugar cane). He was already 9 when he left. The closer you were to 12 years old, the harder it was to leave. Teresa was basically sent so they could keep each other company. My grandfather and your father’s namesake was Arturo Lopez Izquierdo. He was a fairly wealthy man. He sent the whole family over to Miami. The only members of the family who stayed behind was Rosa and Roberto and of course us, for two reasons; one, they already had six children. It was difficult to start in the United States and have to support the six children; also Abuelo Roberto was sort of taking care of Abuelo Arturo and Abuela Maximina. Additionally Abuelo Arturo thought that the whole thing with Castro would only last a couple of years, at worst. He did not want to leave until he was sure it was worth it. Once the Bay of Pigs was a failure, everything was different.
The first recollection I have of Roberto was where I was waking up in the morning and Roberto and his best friend Carlitos were wrestling on the floor. I could hear my mom saying “no jueguen mas de mano” which liberally translated means stop horsing around. Carlitos was around the house a lot. I do not really remember him talking but I do remember him playing with Roberto. The other memory I have is when Roberto was running in the hall and he skipped over the back of a Cuban rocking chair. I do not know why I have that memory but I do. At least it is better than the memory I have of Teresa. She was trying to go to the bathroom. She was telling me to leave the bathroom (this was a favorite spot when we played hide and seek since it joined two rooms in the house.) I may have been four years old. If I left the bathroom I would be caught and I would be it. Needless to say I was it in the next game.
Roberto had a developmental disease named Perthes’s disease. It was a disease where his hip joint would wear out prematurely. I do not know if it is hereditary, I have not heard that it is, but it is important that all of us are aware of this. When he walked he would hobble to one side and then the other. Everyone would tell Mom and Dad (I mean Lela Rosa and Lelo Roberto when I say that) and they would not believe there was something wrong with him. There was. The only cure for that was to put him in whole body cast. The hip had to be distracted, which means it could not bear any weight.  Roberto was in a full body cast for almost four years, I am told. Some of the pictures seen here were taken while he was in a cast. He had a holes for his head to stick out and his feet to stick out and his arms to stick out. Additionally he had a hole in the front of the cast and one in the back so he could go to the bathroom. This is the way it was described to me by Tio Lulo (Abuelo Roberto’s slightly older brother, Abuelo Roberto did not like to talk about such things. Abuela Julia also spoke to me about it.) After a couple of years he was placed in a smaller, more comfortable cast. I do not really remember this

but somehow I became aware of this. I believe in the picture where he is between Abuela and Abuelo he is wearing the larger cast. You cannot see it but he is standing very rigid for that reason. In the other picture where he was a little older he was wearing the smaller cast. You can tell he is sitting in a wheelchair in this picture.

It must have been very difficult for Roberto. He never told me this but I can just imagine. Actually I never spoke to him about hs disease. It was only much later after some prodding that Abuela Rosa told me what it was and I went to the Medical School Library to find out more about it.  This was before the internet.  I wanted to know partly to see if it was a heritable disease; we were about to have Cristina. I can just imagine how lonely he must have felt. There was very little Roberto could do. Remember at this time the television shows were very few. There were no video games. I think I remember someone telling me that a lot of comic books were read and that a lot of cartoon watching was involved. Lelo Roberto somehow was able to have a couple of seats taken out of the front of a movie theater in Cuba. I used to know the theater's name but I have forgotten.  There he would wheel Roberto in a bed so he could watch movies with him.  The cast was removed at some point. A few years later Roberto had to leave to Miami for four years. I cannot even imagine how hard that was for the whole family. I did not feel much since I was too young to realize this. I knew what was going on but I did not realize the difficulties involved. I only realized it later, when everyone would speak about it. Abuela Rosa and Abuelo Roberto were always worried about him. Particularly whether he would walk and run normally after all the treatments had taken place.  

In the picture below, that is Carlos riding the horse, on the left in the rear there is Robert,  Note he is not riding, just sitting.  I wonder if that was because of the cast.  

In 1961 Roberto and Teresa left Cuba. The came to Miami with our aunt and uncle Tia China and Tio Lulo and their son Lulito (Fausto López Sanchez). Teresa and Robert came in as part of Operacion Pedro Pan. Roberto and Lulito became very close. They stayed in the house in 12th avenue. That house was occupied by many people sometimes. At one time Teresa told me that around 20 people were staying at the house. Since abuelo Arturo had some money he bought the house on 12th avenue. We would not see Roberto or Teresa for another 4 years. The last time I had seen Roberto in Cuba he looked like the picture where he is carrying a baby (Rosa Maria) who had just been born. I suspect this was only a few days before he left since there are a number of these pictures where he is wearing a tee shirt with the Belen Jesuit Prep emblem (this is where Lelo Roberto went to school). Abuela seemed about as sad as one could imagine.  And Robert was so nervous he reminded of me and Turi when we get nervous.  This must have been in November or December of 1961 since Rosa was born in November 6, 1961.

Every once in a while we would get a picture of Roberto or Teresa in the mail. One time I remember Mom and Dad just being so proud. A school picture had come in looking a lot like the one shown here. This is not the same one but you can see what I mean. The last time Mom and Dad had seen Robert he looked like the guy carrying Rosa, now he looked like the guy in the red sweater. The sad thing was that when I saw that picture, I did not recognize him as being the same person. He looked so different. I did not tell Mom and dad that. I just looked at the picture.

Roberto was a very social individual. He had a lot of friends. I would say his best friends were Eric Rodriguez and Carlos Fernandez. Eric became a lawyer and Carlos became an orthodontist. I still see Carlos once in a while. I have not seen Eric in 20 years or so, although recently I friended him on facebook. I do have recordings of Eric and Roberto singing songs by the Beatles.
Robert was a great brother. I would say he was one of the top five brothers of all time. Turi, Carlos and I were totally lost when we got here. We did not know how to play football, we knew a little about baseball and dad would teach us a little about boxing. Robert took it upon himself to teach us all of this stuff. (remember Dad was very busy trying to make money via whatever job he could find)  I remember him taking Carlos, Turi and me outside and he was going to show us how to play football. He did. I remember him drawing patterns in the dirt. He would say “this is a down and out. Run forward around six paces and then juke to the inside and then turn to the outside. I will throw you the ball when you get to the sideline. Of course since Carlos, Turi and I did not speak english, he would say it in spanish.  That day he taught us around five pass patterns. The down and out, down and in, slant, button hook and the post. We learned about flag patterns a lot later. I still remember him teaching all these to us. That day we went back inside and mom kept asking me all these questions, How did Robert run? Was he fast? I did not exactly understand why she asked this then I realized that she was worried whether there would be any lasting effects due to the disease he had. I reassured her that he had no problems doing anything he wanted. (he did not) This made her very happy. At this time I did not realize the disease he had was as serious as it was. I have always admired him for later playing four years of football as a right guard, number 65.  He also ran the  50 yard dash.  

The field we used to play was only around 20 yards long. We always ran short pass patterns since there was no room in front of the house. When we played in a real field with other people they would kind of wonder why our pass patterns were so short. Robert would include us in a lot of his activities. We would go to the park with his friends and play football mainly but also baseball. In baseball we would mainly be running bases. We had a lot of fun during that time.

Robert had numerous allergies. He could not eat any eggs or egg by products. He could also not eat any pumpkins. For this reason Abuela Rosa would always cook for him. When he arrived home he would always have dinner prepared for him. (they made food for us too but it was different).
Robert started a band around this time. He bought a set of drums, the brand was PEARL. He replaced the skins with the brand name Ludwig; these were the same type the Beatles used. (I really do not know why I remember this but I do; there are a lot of things I do not know why I remember so vividly). The band would practice in our house. The name of the band was the Isles of Langerhans. A few years after the Robert left the band, or it dissolved altogether. I always found it interesting how that name was chosen.  He always did like science.  Just recently I saw the lead singer of the Antiques, Francisco Batista and he gave me a copy of some of his recent recordings. He remembered Robert fondly. He referred to Robert as Fidel. This was a nickname given to him by his classmates because he was the first boy to have to shave in the eighth grade. Still if you meet any of his friends they will call him Fidel. Robert actually traded in his drum set. City regulations would not let him practice at home unless all the windows were closed. Since air conditioning was not available in the house; that was out of the question. He traded the drum set for a guitar. I still have that guitar.  We got some new guitars for Christmas, courtesy of Santa Paula. We still treasure that particular guitar however. He taught me how to play guitar.  Even though now it has an extra hole in it.  
During this time the Vietnam war was still going on. I do not know if you are familiar with the selective service but during that time there was a drawing to see who had to enlist in the army. They would take the birthdates out of a hat and take them out in order. The lower the number, the greater the possibilities of going to the Vietnam war. You did not have a choice. You just had to go. This is partly why the antiwar movement was so strong during that time. His birthday was December 1. That year (1970) December 1 came out no. 25 in the draft. This meant that he was going straight to Vietnam. The family was really sad. It was one of those days that we just did not know what to do. He had gotten the lowest number of his whole group of friends. Later we found out that he still qualified for the college deferment. He could enroll in College and afterwards he would have to join the army. Hopefully the war would be over by then. Thankfully, it was.
Physically Robert looked like your dad. His face, however was more like Carlos. He had a deeper voice than me or Turi but maybe not as deep as Carlos or Juanpi. He had a few girlfriends. One of them was Eileen, she took a lot of the pictures.   A few years ago, she was Paula’s Chemistry Teacher. Robert majored in Chemistry. He began studying at the University of Miami where he received a lot of scholarships. He did not like it here so he went to the University of Florida in Gainesville. He finished his Chemistry major but he did not like the jobs you could get. He started working at a company which was making glue. He did not like it and began studying again. He became an English teacher. He joined a school for children and adolescents with troubled pasts. This school was in the black neighborhoods of Miami. He and a friend then made a similar school for Cuban students, and that is where he was killed. I am going to write about that in a separate blog entry. It is something that is not easy for me to write about but I believe it should be remembered.  Ramon

 

I have been thinking a lot about my dad today.  I guess it makes sense since it is Father’s Day. 

I consider myself a very fortunate man.  I got to know my father and I got to know him well.  I learned a lot from him.  When he was ill towards the end of his life, I was able to help take care of him.  I have always been proud of that.

I worked with dad at several jobs during my sophomore, junior and senior years in high school.  We first worked at the Raleigh Hotel in Miami Beach.  I was the elevator operator at the hotel.  The elevators were not automatic; someone had to drive them.  I was also a bellhop.  The shift was from midnight to 8am.  I, or Carlos or Arturo would work on Friday and Saturday nights.  At that time, Robert was already in Gainesville.  Dad would work the rest of the week.  We would do this since that way dad could make more money at Montmartre Hotel as a barboy. 

The job was okay.  The reason they needed the elevator operator was because it was a kosher hotel.  On the Sabbath, Jewish persons could not operate machinery.  The pay was small ($10/day) but basically, they also provided you a sofa where you could sleep usually from 2-6am.  You would see strange things sometimes in the evening.  Respected citizens taking different ladies up to their room.  I was surprised how often that happened.   At this job, dad and I did not really work together.  If I was working there, he was working at his other job at the Montmartre between the Eden Roc and the Doral Hotels. 

Starting in 10^th grade I began working as a barboy with dad at the Montmartre Hotel.  This is where I really got to know him.  Since we are so many siblings, it is difficult to spend alone time with your dad.  He has to be dad to all of us at the same time.

Dad’s job was to set up the bar and the nightclub prior to the show in the evening.  Afterwards, during the show, he is the man that operates the spotlight.  It was one of those old-fashioned spotlights that as the singer moves around the stage, the spotlight would keep shining on the performer.  The show was Lou Marsh and Tony Adams, "These Jokers are Wild".  He introduced me to Ivan, the bartender and Hal the Piano man.  They are both very nice individuals.  He also introduced me to Tony Foster who is a singer and the entertainment director and Johnny Varro and his orchestra who provide the music for most shows.  It strikes me how proud he is as he introduces me to each of them. 

The first thing I noticed was that all the plates in the bar were exactly the same type of plates that we had at home.  I say very loudly: Papi, que casualidad, tienen los mismos platos!.  (Dad, what a concidence.  The have the same plates that we have at home.).  He just told me: Callate la boca muchacho!  (Be quiet).  I then notice that all the chairs are exactly the same ones we have at home.  Again dad says; be quiet.   I did not realize that they may have been “borrowed” from the hotel at one point or another. The ones we had at home were all damaged. 

Our first job is to estimate how many seats will be filled.  Depending on our estimate we would have to light a red candle at the center of each table that we expected to be filled.  He consults with Ivan the bartender and they make a decision. He carefully showed me how to hold the match the match and light the candle.  After you light it you should hold it between your index finger and your middle finger, otherwise you would get burned as you lit the candle.  To this day every time I light a candle, particularly a red one, I remember him teaching me how to do it.

Dad was worried.  The singer coming in today was one that loved to move all around the stage.  The problem is that they had replaced the light and now the light could not follow the singer around the stage as much.  Dad was afraid he could not point the light at her and she would feel embarrassed because she would all of a sudden be singing in the dark.  We continued setting up the tables and tidying up the nightclub.  Then dad spotted the singer.  I do not remember her name.  Dad, in his broken English, tells her about the light situation.  She is very grateful. Dad and I sit down in the adjacent room, the band is practicing.  Dad is telling me he really likes the way this singer sings : “Esta tarde vi llover” by Armando Manzanero.  He tells me about the song.  He tells me about Armando Manzanero.  He tells me about other famous songs by Manzanero such as “Adoro”, “Somos Novios”.  I had not heard of Manzanero before.  I was surprised at how much he knew.  It was like another side of him I had not experienced.   I knew he loved music, I just did not know how much he knew about the artists. 

I was a little sleepy, so I went to the kitchen to get American Coffee.  As I would go around his colleagues would point towards me and say “Ese es el hijo de Roberto”  (That is Roberto’s son).  I was so proud.  Everyone seemed to really like him. I got the coffee and sat down.  I told dad I really hated this type of coffee.   I was hoping for Cuban coffee.  He taught me how to make it so you could actually enjoy it.   He told me to put in two or three crystals of salt and cream and some sugar.  The salt did the trick.

The show began.  Dad turned and operated the lights.  I am sitting way in the back just taking in the show and drinking some American Coffee.  The singer begins going through her show.  She really sings well. As the show continues, she stops and says in Spanish: Esta es para ti Roberto. (Roberto, this one is for you!) My dad is kind of embarrassed.  Pongase de pie por favor!  My dad stood up and waved.  Everyone clapped.   She began singing “Esta tarde vi llover”.  I could tell dad was happy.  After the show ended I told him:  Viste eso?  And then I said: Es bien bonita.  He was very happy!  We continued working that day and later we drove home at around 2am. 

A couple of years later, me and Robert, my brother, were playing guitar in front of my house.  Robert wanted to show me several songs he had learned. When he would visit, he would often do that.  I assumed he learned these since he now had a Hispanic girlfriend. And he started playing “Adoro” by Armando Manzanero.  He started telling me about Armando Manzanero.  He started telling me about other songs.  I was surprised at how similar Robert and dad were.  I had no seen them being together as often since dad's work schedule and Robert studying at the University they did not share that much time together,

When Robert was killed, dad regretted that he had never gotten to know him well.  When his brothers or his hotel friends came to see my dad at the funeral he would just say “I never really knew him”.  I always hoped to tell dad that they were more similar than he imagined.  I never did. I wish I had.

Happy Father’s day dad.  Thank you. 

An extremely sad day

A few days ago marked the anniversary of an extremely sad day 43 years ago.  I began remembering experiences; important experiences which forever influenced my life.  At the time I was listening to the soundtrack of Forrest Gump; a wonderful soundtrack to the events playing out in my mind.

There was once a time, I’m thinking I was 12.   Robert was showing me different card tricks.  Some of them were simple.  “Here, take a card, any card.”  He would hold the deck it in such a way that I really could only take one card.   I am pretty sure that trick, I figured out on my own.   The tricks got a little more impressive.  Again, he would say: “Here, take a card, any card.”  This time he was more generous in providing choices.  He was less generous in where in the deck I could put the chosen card back.  I think I pretty much figured that one out too.  I think Robert was actually trying to determine if I realized what he was doing.  Since I really wanted to impress him, maybe that is just what I thought.  

Now, I suspect he was just messing around.   

All the tricks I was able to figure out; let’s face it they were not very difficult.   There was one trick however that I just could not.  He would have a deck of cards; it was not a complete deck.   He would say: take a card, memorize the card and put it back in the deck.  Shuffle the deck as much as you want.   Return the deck to me.  He would then say; now, one by one I am going to distribute the cards into three piles.   Wait until I have finished distributing the cards among the decks and after I have finished, tell me into which deck the card was placed.  He would then carefully reassemble the deck and distribute the cards again.  He would go through this process a total of three times.  He would then tell me:  “This is the card you chose” while holding up that same card. 

I could not figure it out how he did it.  I then spent some time trying to figure it out.   I could not.   Mom noticed what I was doing.  I told her and asked if she knew how the trick was done.  She did not know.

I was frustrated.  I think she realized it.

So she said we will figure it out.  I had my doubts.

She asked me to do everything Robert did, but this time, lets follow what happens to the card.  In less than 10 minutes we figured it out.  We realized you could only use 21 cards and after the whole process it was the 11^th card on the deck.  Mom told me not to tell Robert that she helped me figure it out. 

At that time, I was so impressed by the trick.  I was happy Mom and I figured out how it was done.  I showed Robert that I had figured out.  He was impressed.

That day I learned a lot.   

I realized how smart my mom was.

I miss you Robert.  I miss you Mom.

My niece, Emily, wrote this poem for a homework assignment. I think it is a beautiful poem.

I am from an elongated island-
South of my new home
(The nation with one white star)
Where the ruler tells me what to do,
And where freedom isn’t promised
And where dreams aren’t fulfilled

I am from boats carrying me to freedom
(To the nation with 50 white stars)
To escape the ruler
And to reach the land of the dreams
I am from looking to the cross for hope
I am from ending suffering;
And from gaining hope
I am from losing everything
And having nothing
With 9 mouths to feed
I am from two jobs per parent
And kids working at the age of 14,
From not knowing the words of the land
I am from the struggle and the heartache
That my ancestors went through, to get to where I am today.
I am Saturday night pizzas at my abuelas house;
And going on Naple trips every summer
When my cousins come down from D.C.
I am from family pictures by the mall
And making human pyramids in the backroom.
I am in the land of the free

- Emily Muniz 

On Friday night I read on Facebook that the BBC had announced the death of Fidel Castro

On Friday night I read on Facebook that the BBC had announced the death of Fidel Castro.  Frankly, at the time I did not know how to react.  I had kind of put him in the back of my mind; not thinking about him at all.  I started thinking back to my childhood, how he had influenced all our lives.  A lot of memories surged.

One of the first memories I have as a child in El Reparto Nautico in Cuba was going to my grandfather’s house, it was across the street from my own.   Someone  said ¿Que tiempo lleva hablando? (For how long has he been speaking?).  Fidel Castro was speaking to the nation.  He did this often.  To me it just meant one thing, my parents and grandparents and most of the neighbors would be in a bad mood.  As a 5 year old in 1963 I did not like Fidel Castro for many reasons.  That was just one of them. 

I have a large family.  At the time we were seven siblings.  The family had been separated.  My parents, not wanting Robert to be placed in the “pioneros” (pioneers), sent him and my sister Teresa to the United States via the Peter Pan Project in 1961.   Robert was 8 years old at the time; Teresa 6.  I would not see them for 4 years.  I also had 11 paternal cousins which lived in the same street. All of them had left to “Miami”.  This was another reason I did not like Fidel.

I vaguely remembered my aunts and uncles.   Tia Futi lived in the corner.  She used to make boniatos.  Tia Amada and Tio Aristides lived at the entrance to el rio Qiuibu.  This was in the same neighborhood but further south from our home.   My dad would go sometimes to get coconuts from the back of their house.   They had moved to Miami.  The current occupants, my dad knew, and would let him get the coconuts.   Tio Lulo and Tio Eduardo, I remembered better.  Perhaps it is because they lived next door and I would spend  a lot of time with their kids.  All of them were now in Miami.  I had four other cousins who lived in Vedado.   We would still see each other on Sundays and had a lot of fun together.  In 1965, they would leave for Monterey Mexico two days before we left to Madrid, Spain.   I always thought we would see each other in Miami.  My mom told me in the Airport in La Habana that they were going to stay in Monterey.  I was even more worried since they  had taken my grandmother, abuela Julia, with them.  I would not see those cousins again for a long time.  Another aunt had to leave for Bogota, Colombia; since Tia Maria was a nun, she was thrown out of the country.   I heard my mom and dad talking about having to hide her in the house.  Another uncle and aunt went to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.  

The neighborhood I grew up in was idyllic.   I remember walking in the north sidewalk and I could see the Caribbean Sea.   I could not believe that 90 miles from there, is where most of my family was living. My neighbors kept getting replaced.   I would go to sleep one night and the next day I had different neighbors.  One night Tio Eduardo and Tia Irene were replaced by Anita e Isaac. Another night It was Tio Lulo and Tia China.   Although most of the new neighbors were great we had to be careful what we said.   One would never know which neighbor was ñángara and which one was gusano.  One time Carlos and I were playing with two cans and a string (communication device) and commenting on how horrible the regimen was.  Someone overhead us.  Luckily they were gusanos.  They spoke to my mom and dad, because they worried that a ñángara would overhear us.  This is how many people would end up as political prisoners.   The children would then be raised as pioneros.   We had to be very careful what we said, even while playing with our friends.  Our friends were just children but they could repeat what was said to their parents.  Having to be that careful in expressing ourselves was not pleasant.  For this reason Carlos and I never went to school in Cuba.  The teachers would try to get information from the students and see if an intervention was needed.  Once you were a pionero, you would be brainwashed into a different way of thinking.   You would then always be a pionero.

My father would play Dominos with his friends at “La Casa de Arias”.   On the way home and walking around the neighborhood he would talk about each of the houses.   We would go by la casa de tio Eduardo, la casa de tio Lulo, la casa de tia Amaya, ……Every house now had another family living in it, a different family.  I blamed Fidel for separating my family and spreading them all over the world.  I still do.

In 1965, my mom, dad, brothers and sisters, Abuelo Arturo, and Abuela Maximina all left for Spain.  We stayed in Spain for three months and arrived in Miami on November 15, 1965. 

I cannot say that I long for my life in Cuba.  My life is good.  My brothers and sisters and their families are well adjusted, each with their own set of problems, dealing with them as best they can.   I cannot say that because of Fidel we have had a rough life; although it is different to be sure.  

When Castro took over in 1959, my parents were 31 and 29 years old.  They were just getting started.   They were raising a family.  Dad used to work in the aqueducto (which I guess was the water company).   He worked there until someone saw a picture of “La Caridad del Cobre” on his windshield.  He was told to remove it or lose his job.  He lost his job.  I have the letter from the government official stating that el camarada Roberto Lopez del Valle was fired due to the incident. My dad was not allowed to work.  I do not even know what my dad’s life was before Fidel.  I was two when the revolution occurred.  I know the family lived comfortably. I remember a closet full of squash racquets.  He would still play sometimes.  I am not sure how we were able to survive.  I guess we still had some resources.  My dad would take us to a farm.    There I actually milked a cow.  I always wondered if it hurt the cow when I did that.  My dad would take Carlos, Turi and me to ride horses.  My mom was busy raising us.  She would usually stay home.   Mom and Dad would come into the United States to live in Miami, raising 7 children, two of which they had not seen in four years.  They had no jobs.  My dad worked as many as three jobs (I am not exaggerating) but usually only two to make ends meet.    He started as a dishwasher, then barboy at a Miami Beach Hotel. He also worked in a photodeveloping studio, at another hotel as a bell captain, then as an elevator operator.  My mom began babysitting for the guests of the hotel.  Afterwards she would work all night at a factory, then at the Post Office.  Mr. Castro’s revolution caused my parents to change overnight from a couple, just getting started, raising a family to a couple facing adversity, literally working their lives away to bring a better future to their family.   Their suffering, the trials they had to go through; for these I do blame Mr. Castro.

I never again saw my dad trying to get coconuts from the yard.   I never again saw him play dominoes with his friends.  I seldom saw him play squash or Jai Alai.  We never again rode horses with my father pulling the reins.  

Mom and Dad have since passed away.  Somehow, with the help of the church and the American Government, they were able to make it possible for us to attend private schools and for all of us to graduate from college.  I am very proud of my parents and my family.

I know a lot of people and their families have suffered much more than I have as a result of Mr. Castro’s revolution.

Today  I am thanking mom and dad for what they did for us. 

I do not really know why I am writing this.  It is just that when I heard Mr. Castro had died it brought a lot of these emotions back. I felt I had to write about  it.