I am trying to write about Carlos.  It was Carlos’s birthday a few days ago. 

 This will be a continuing story.  The problem is I do not even know where to start.  One day when I finish this, I will give it to his kids and Betty.  

One of the first memories I remember was when he was four or five, I was three or four.  I do not really know.  I remember we were fighting.  He was upset because when I slept, I apparently would go towards his side of the bed.  It was a big bed, and he would draw an imaginary line down the middle of the bed.  He would say when we slept, I could not pass that line.  I have heard that I would move too much when I slept.  I kept wondering how to be able to tell that while I slept. I really did not know. And lost sleep over it.  This must have been at around 1961 so I guess I must have been four years old, he five.  Carlos and I were incredibly close.  It is no wonder, he was only 13 months older than I was. We were sharing many experiences.  It was really great actually.  Turi was always around, I do not think Rosa nor Juanpi had been born yet.  I believe a few days later Robert and Teresa would leave for the United States.  I am not absolutely sure about the timing here. I know it happened, but I do not remember if it really was at that particular time. As I remember the time, everything seems to be scrunched together.  We would not see Teresa or Robert until around four years later in 1965. 

Around that same time, Robert and Carlitos, a friend of his, were fighting in the bedroom.  In Cuba in my youth, it was not really called fighting but “jugando de manos”.  I guess in our language today it would be called rassling.  I remember mom getting very upset at them.  I never actually met Carlitos aftewards, or at least, he never spoke a word to me.  I remember seeing him rassling with Robert but remember nothing else.  It is as if a whole person was summarized in the one scene I remember.  As I think back on it, this must have been just a little bit after Robert got all numerous casts removed.  I am now kind of wondering if that was why mom was so upset.  Just thought of that now.

I learned a lot from Carlos.  We kind of thought together.  Sometimes, as I write this, I am not sure what he said and what I said; what I thought and what he thought.  We were hardly ever apart, always experiencing everything together.  We were joined at the hip.

Carlos and I roamed the neighborhood together.  I remember carrying out experiments with him.  Or at least that is what we called them.  This would lead to great confusion in my later career as a chemist.  We would just mix all these concoctions together and see what came out.  Sometimes it was old paint, possibly a bunch of small rocks.  It looked kind of cool.  Only many years afterwards, after becoming a chemist, I realized that we used the same word as we used in my class. Wasn’t sure why. I had always thought carrying out an experiment was just having fun with my brother and mixing things we found in the neighborhood. I always wondered why I became a chemist.  Perhaps it was that …..

As I have gotten older, I do not remember our interactions as much. We were so close when we were young.  I cannot discern what he said and what I said.  One time Carlos and I were gifted a couple of either red or blue plastic buckets.  These were toy buckets much like the ones you would take to the beach.  Carlos and I were so proud of these.  We thought they were great.  We may have been six years old.    We came out of the house and were met by our cousin, Sylvia.  Sylvia was my age. Sylvia had this beautiful bucket.  It was white, had some flowers on it.  Now it looks like what a lady would carry on her wedding day. I am not sure what it really looked like.  Those are the qualities I think I am assigning to the bucket.  It was a very pretty bucket though.  Carlos and I were upset.  Our buckets looked like children’s toys, compared to hers, and they were.  I do not know how it happened, but Sylvia’s bucket ended up floating in the poseta.  The poseta was a swimming hole which was on the coast, right next to the sidewalk but a few feet down from it.  To this day, Sylvia claims that I pushed her into the poseta when she asked where her bucket was (I did not).  It is kind of interesting how one’s mind plays tricks on you.  At that time in the old country, all of us would kind get the same gift.  I am not really sure why.  I wonder if a bucket salesman came in the day before, or there was nothing else to buy so the limited selection drove the purchase.  At another time, Carlos and I made up an early phone type system.  I am being generous.  It was two empty cans tied together by a string. If you would get far apart, you could talk into the can and the other person would hear you.  Carlos would sit on one edge of the street and I on the other. Carlos and I had a great time with this.  Only problem is that we would repeat all these anti government things we had heard.  Mom explained it to us and we never did that again.  Now I understand why many of our freshly landed Cuban students in school never say anything at the University. Once they are there for a year it is a lot easier to get them to talk.

It is kind of funny.  I have written a lot about Robert.  It is not difficult for me to do so.  It may be because Robert was an independent person.  He also died so long ago.  I still get a little emotional when I think about Carlos.  I really got to know Robert and I would strive to be like him when I arrived from the old country.  Carlos and I were also approximately the same age.  I guess that is what it means by being joined at the hip.  Teresa and Robert were missed in the old country.  I was always drawn towards Teresa.  Carlos was drawn towards Robert.  I honestly barely remembered either of them.  Only remembered a couple of scenes.  One was Robert jumping over back of the sillon de la sala. I do not really remember him being in a cast.  Another was Teresa and I fighting over who would use the bathroom first.  I think that one I will tell my psychiatrist about; if I ever get one.  These were not images as in pictures.  These are things I remember happening live.  The only one that is actually an image is Robert jumping over the back of the sillon.  The others are more like my own remembrance of a narration of the incident.

Carlos and I would do things together.  On Saturdays, dad would sometimes take us horseback riding.  I am using a very liberal definition of the term horseback riding.  Dad would walk the horse with me sitting on top of it.  I was fine until one of the horses seemed to hit my foot with his mouth.  After that it was not so much fun.  Carlos was better at it.  We have a picture of Carlos riding a horse.  Robert was sitting in the back.  I wonder if he could not ride it due to Pertes disease.  You must remember Carlos was just a little bit older than I was.  He was older enough to make a difference in our ages.  Whatever Carlos said I would believe.  I had no reason to doubt nor have I ever had reason to doubt what he said was true.   It was reassuring to know you had someone to ask about anything.

We were really bored in the old country or at least we thought we were. Abuela Maximina would try to pass the time with us.  I remember when she started teaching us how to “bordar” or embroider. We would place the cloth in between two embroidery rings and we would try to sew different designs on the cloth.  Part of the fun was that we could not show anyone we were doing that.  That was stuff only girls did, not men.  Carlos and I were men (stated in a deep voice).  Abuela and Abuelo had a had a huge dining room table.  Abuela would sit at one end and us men would sit by her side and we would try to do what she taught us.  As uncles and aunts came by, we would put the rings away so they could not see them.  I think they knew but I do not really know.  Carlos did a much better job than I did.  Both of us had a great time.  I always thought that in the days before Fidel that dining room table would have all these family members sitting there and having some type of feast.  That was strictly my imagination.  I never saw it happen.

Carlos and I discussed traps and how they would be built.  Abuela lived in a house with a huge backyard.  On day for some reason there were a few holes in the backyard.  Someone, may have been one of the cousins, taught us to put light tree leaves and sticks on top so when one of the heavier members of the family would walk over this trap, they would just fall in.  Of course, we never did that.  I am not sure why those holes were there and now I wonder if these were there to hide some money.  I doubt it though.  These were towards the middle of the yard.  Since I cannot really ask anyone, I have always wondered.

Before we left Cuba, we had to declare an “inventario”.  This is literally an inventory of all your possessions.  The government could take what it wanted.  Since at that time the whole neighborhood was leaving, everyone would leave us all this stuff for us to store, so when the government came down, at least the family members would keep it.  We had this closet under the stairs were all the toys that were being left would be placed.  I remember everyone loading up and taking stuff also to Ana and Isaac’s house next door so the inventory would not take hold of them.  A lot of these were then taken back to our house until we left.  These were then given to different family members as we left.  We were running out of family members.  I know we gave Lydia and her husband some stuff that had not been inventoried.  I never saw her again. I have always felt bad about that; always wanted to see her again. I really liked her. All this stuff, although I experienced it myself, I also experienced it with Carlos, and from Carlos.  Most of the time I did not know what was going on. 

Although it may seem funny now.  On the 90 mile trip from La Habana to Miami, we had to go via Spain or Mexico.  We, the Lopez de la Vega family, went via Spain.  Our Mexican group went via Mexico.  Except they just stayed in Mexico. I have always regretted not being able to spend more time with them.  Carlos and I later spent time with Carlos from Mexico and Miriam from Mexico.  We have never spent time with Alberto or Javier.  After we left, I only met Alberto once.  All of us really got along well.

All of us went to Spain. I do remember the day we left.  Carlos was usually my one source of information, and my model towards a proper reaction.  I was never too worried about leaving my house.  Why should I be, Carlos was not worried.  We knew were going to finally see Robert y Teresa, that is all we thought about. I remember we were at the airport.  They left Carlos and I alone in some room.  There were people there, but mom and dad were not with us.  That is all that mattered. I had been told that we would be searched before we boarded the plane.  Mom had prepared all of us for this search. Carlos and I were not searched.  Mom and Dad were.  That is where they were.  They were being searched. I just kept imagining how the search was.  During that time in Cuba, the planes were not loaded via a long tube leading to the airplane.  We actually had to walk on the airport tarmac to the plane.  I remember Rosa just not taking any more.  She went on the floor of tarmac and just did not want to leave.  This is what I was told, not what I remember.  Carlos and I just walked into the plane.  To me it was just a new experience, one I was looking forward to and we were looking forward to for a while.  This was in 1965, before July.  The reason I remember it was before July was because we celebrated Carlos’s birthday (July 19) in Spain.  I just walked up the stairs and sat down where I was asked to.  Carlos took a window seat.  I did not. Turi asked dad for two dollars (actually pesos) that were owed to him by I believe Hans, a German friend of dad’s.  I know Turi asked dad about the money.  I do not remember what dad said before or after he laughed.  We were all wary of how abuela and abuelo felt.  Mom and dad were being careful since they had left everything behind.  We really could not imagine how Abuela and Abuelo felt.  That is all I would always hear.  They left everything behind.  I never knew how important that was.  Can you imagine leaving Everything behind.  I could not tell any difference in their demeanor.  Abuela was always very serious anyway so it was difficult to tell. 

It was a strange feeling leaving Cuba.  I was not really thinking about this too much but that would be the last time I would be there.  I never thought of that either.  I was more thinking about the flight to Spain.  It was scheduled for 24 hours in a four engine plane.  This was not a jet plane. It was a propeller plane. I had not even been on a plane before.  Carlos and I sat together the whole way.  I was happy he was there. 

I asked dad or Carlos a lot of questions.  I could not understand how a plane could fly (I still can’t, really).  I can explain it perfectly but how can it fly?   They were all happy we had a four-propeller plane.  And quoting Carlos, if one of the propellers failed, we. had three more.  And what if a second propeller failed.  Etc… During that time, and probably now, I would be very much affected by how others felt during the trip.   

After 24 hours with a stop in Bermuda and a stop in the Azores, we finally got to Spain.  There are things I think about during the trip where I feel very sleepy even now. 

In Spain, life was very different.  We took a cab, actually a number of cabs, to a hotel that had been arranged by a good friend of Abuelo.  I have no idea what his name was.  I knew it then and someday I will remember but I cannot remember now.  All of us ended up in two hotel rooms, in an apartment house which was about to be closed.  We got two rooms, one was for abuelo and abuela and the other was for the rest of us.  We were all very uncomfortable. A lot of us ended up sleeping in one bed.  Halfway through the night the pim pam pum broke and dad was on the floor.  Then mom started screaming.  She was having nightmares.   She woke up thinking that all of us had rolled on top of Juanpi  I actually slept through most of this.  Carlos told me what happened.   The next day we moved to a large apartment at 23 Juan Bravo.  Years later, Juanpi visited it and sent me a picture of it.  I thought it had been destroyed once we left but apparently it was still there.  At least the building was there. Juanpi said the central elevator was, but he was maybe one year old. I doubt he remembered much.

We had a great time in Spain.  We were there through Carlos’s Birthday and then my birthday (August 24) mom and dad bought him a toy I have never seen again.  The idea was to shoot down a plane which was flying in circles above you.   We played with that a lot. One month later, for my birthday, we bought a toy car which you could make it run with batteries.  That one was not a good choice. When we had to leave Carlos’s planes behind we were upset.  My car no one missed.  It may have worked for a few hours after I brought it home.  Oh well.

We stayed in Spain for three to four months approximately.  Every once in a while, we would go to El Refugio to get clothes.  I was hard to fit but I was able to find clothes.  Actually, I should repeat that.  I was hard to fit but mom was able to find clothes for me.  This was important since we could only take one bag at the most. 

The trip to Spain was quite memorable.  I was very happy Carlos was there.  He is the only one I remember.  I do not remember Turi, Rosa.  I do remember Juanpi since he was right next to mom and dad. I spent most of my time talking to Carlos.  One year difference when you are 7 is a big difference yet a small difference.

Sometime before Halloween, we finally arrived in the United States.  Finally, we would get to see my brother and sister.  I know it was before halloween because one year later, I was given an assignment in school which was about halloween.  I had no idea how to to the assignment.  I had no idea what to draw.  

Upon arriving here to the United States it was such a shock when Carlos and I had to attend schools.  We started in the same school, Coral Way Elementary but he was transferred to Citrus Grove elementary.  He was placed in an English program.  Having the family split in half when Robert and Teresa left was quite a blow but now I was going to be split from him. I had always thought he and I would be together all the time.  Actually, I had never really thought about it. I never knew. Until I was told we would go to school separately: then I just thought Whoa, in Spanish.  It is not easy to imagine that at this time all my thoughts were in Spanish.  I am not even sure how I thought in Spanish. He was bussed to Citrus Grove and I could walk to Coral Way Elementary in Miami. To this day I feel badly about being separated.  We would walk home from school together.  Turi was doomed to attend Sts Peter and Paul.  I remember mom telling me about going to see several people she knew from old country, trying to keep the family together.  One of them was the head of Belen Jesuit Prep which was where dad had gone to school.  I have forgotten his name but mom in the end decided against it. All these thoughts I am sharing are what I remember.  Carlos and I were never in the same classroom together after the beginning of my third grade and during the same day of summer school.  We only went to summer school for a couple of days. I think mom realized we did not need to go to summer school.  That summer instead of going to summer school, Carlos and I did go to summer camp.  We went to Sts. Peter and Paul for summer camp.  I always had easier teachers in Summer Camp than Carlos.  I actually wrote about that in the blog which I keep. 

 

Chuck Mangione passed away today.  

I first became aware of Mangione in late 1975.  I was listening to Chase the Clouds Away.  It was released in 1975 by A&M records. I was cleaning out Robert’s records.  I was listening to it, sitting in my bedroom, a Florida room, in my parents’ house.  This was also Robert's room when he lived with us.  I remember I cried, not really knowing why.  I was still affected by Robert's passing.  I still have those records, although they are in storage, currently in one of the bedrooms in my own home.  It will be 50 years to the day this November since that day. 

Robert is my brother.  I use the present tense purposely.  He was shot and killed on November 7 of 1975.  I was taking calculus at the time.  I was very much affected by his death, although I did not realize it at the time. I always found it curious that on the calendar it was also the day after my sister’s birthday.  Always wondered how to remember that. 

Thinking about it now, it is strange.  Robert was the oldest of my siblings.  My mom and dad wanted him to avoid military service for Mr. Castro.  He was sent over to Miami, with my sister Teresa, in 1961 and his aunt and uncle.  We would not see either of them until our arrival in Miami in 1965. To have him face such an ending in 1975 sounds horrible, and it was. 

To this day there are certain songs that really bring him back.  One of these was Dave Clark Five’s Over and Over.  We had the 45rpm of it.  One time, he and I went to downtown Miami in I believe 1966 and he saw at the Walgreens store an album by the Dave Clark Five, and he bought it.  It was Dave Clark Five’s Greatest Hits.  He really liked the album, and he used me to convince himself to buy it.  It cost around $5, so it was a big investment.  I must have been 9.  He 14.  Just gives me the creeps we were in downtown in Miami at such young ages by ourselves.  That was the first long playing album we had ever bought.  I think I still have the album, although I am not sure.  I inherited all his albums in 1975.  

There were other records which he would buy, that I still remember.  For Your Love, by The Yardbirds and Your Song, the Album, by Elton John.  I remember getting the album by Elton John.  It was released in 1970.  Elton John was not well known.  I remember looking for the record at the J. Byron’s in downtown and not being able to find it. J. Byrons was the store for records at that time.  It was important for me to find it, so I asked one of the salesmen and he did not know.  He said look in the miscellaneous section.  I did and I found it.  I was proud of myself.  It was not every day that your older brother asked you for something and you come through.  I never did tell him how difficult it was to find it. I still have that album.  I mean the original album which he asked me to buy that day. When I listen to any one of those songs, I am still brought back to him. Such is the power of music.

My brother’s name was Roberto Lopez de la Vega.  Mine was Ramon Lopez.  People who knew both of us would never know we had the same parents. We had slightly different last names; we do not look that similar. It kind of depended on who handled your papers at the airport what your name became.  I never knew I had a choice so when they asked me my name, it was Ramon Lopez.  His, which he got four years earlier, included our maternal surname, de la Vega.  He would use both surnames since there were two other Roberto Lopez’s in his class.  Robert started out as a freshman at LaSalle High school, class of 1970.  I was in Coral Way Elementary in fourth grade at the time. I did not speak a word of English.  Robert and I never went to the same school at the same time. I kind of always followed in his footsteps 5 years later.  

We would listen to the same type of music.  This was not a coincidence.  When you have an older brother you admire, you tend to listen to the same songs, same music.  You tend to emulate a lot of the things he did.  From Robert I had a preview of every teacher we would have.    Brother Ramon was my favorite teacher.  Robert really liked him.  I knew that since Robert spoke about him often.   I could see why Robert liked him.  Robert played football, right guard.  His favorite subject was Chemistry.  He was in the chess club.  These are all things which I also did, although I do not know if I was trying to emulate him or just that we liked the same activities.  He was also in track and field and Key Club. 

At the time the cost to go to LaSalle was $18/month for the whole family.  Since we had three children attending at the same time, it was a good deal.  During his senior year the cost of going to LaSalle increased to $25 per student per month.  I remember my mom and him talking about it.  The cost kept increasing on a yearly basis.  When I finished in 1975, it was $60 per student per month.  As the family got older it became totally unaffordable.  This is why our two youngest siblings went into the public school system rather than stay in LaSalle.  

Robert really liked music.  Early on he formed his own band.  It was known as the Isles of Langerhans.  They isles of langerhans are also the organelles in the pancreas responsible for making insulin.  He told me that although at the time that information was secondary.  Diabetis had not affected our family as much.  Robert's group used to practice with the Antiques, which was a much more popular band. I know one of the members of the antiques, only because they remember Robert.   I recently saw him and we spoke.  He gave me some sample recordings of him still singing.  Nice guy.  Robert played the drums.  He would practice at home, but there were a lot of complaints.  It was too loud.  He was very proud of his drum set.  It was made by Pearl.  The skins were Ludwig. I am amazed that I still remember this stuff. I do not really know why. Only later did I realize the brand Ludwig was due to being Beethoven's first name.  I do not really know that.  That is what I assume. 

Robert would always tell me about his experiences in the band.  As the complaints from the neighbors became louder and since there was no way for us to air condition our home, he decided to change instruments.  He began playing a Spanish guitar.  I remember when he bought it at a store on eighth street.  It sounded great! He traded in his drum set.  I also still have that guitar.  Although currently it has an extra hole.  It also makes a funny noise when you play the C chord. I also inherited the guitar.  I have not played that guitar in years.  Actually, I have not played any guitar in years.  I still have it though.  

Robert graduated from LaSalle in 1970.  He went for one year to the University of Miami and then finished up with three years at Gainesville graduating in 1974.  He majored in Chemistry.  He would return every summer to our house in the Roads.  He would always come back and teach me several songs on the guitar.  These songs I still play, when I do play guitar which is currently seldom.  In fact those are about the only songs I play.  

I lost another brother around 4 years ago.  Carlos.  I miss him but I have not been able to write about him.  I will.  Robert died 50 years ago.  Carlos only four.  It is difficult. 

 

 

 

 

 Meeting K. Barry Sharpless

In January 1986, I was working as a Post Doctoral Research Associate at the UM; go canes!  We were working on a project and a group from MIT invited our group to collaborate on some work on the development of titanium catalysts in the synthesis of several types of medication.   We were invited to go to MIT to present our findings. 

By the way MIT is in Boston, or a suburb of Boston.  It is really cold!!!  I had to borrow by brother in law’s winter jacket and his gloves.  I lost one of the gloves on the way back.  Did I say it was really cold in MIT?  It must have been evident since when I arrived all those present worried about the Cuban guy from Miami and asked how I felt.

Travelling has always been difficult for me.  I do not know if it is psychological.  When I was small the only goal was to travel to Miami and I guess I make it more difficult than it really is.  Also, Cristina was 3 and a half, it was not easy to find someone to take care of her even for a couple of days.  Elena was just about to arrive.   Lourdes was feeling very uncomfortable.

The project we were working on was very interesting. Imagine a group of 28 faculty and students discussing my work.  Some of these professors I had only read about   It really was exhilarating.

Professor Sharpless seemed like a very nice man.  He kind of looked like Tim Conway.  Apparently, he liked me since he really wanted his group and I to spend time together.  He showed me this new computer from Apple.  It was called a Macintosh.  They invited me to go sledding in the snow the next day.  I could not go. The group was intense in having me extend my stay.  I just could not.  I was not sure how Lourdes was going to feel; not about having me stay but being alone with one child, one on the way and doing her residency at Mt. Sinai.  She was already uncomfortable.  There were no cell phones then, I could not really speak to her. They offered me first class seats for the trip back if I would stay.  Professor Sharpless offered me a job. Again I declined.  To this day I have never seen snow; I have never gone sledding. I could not see myself establishing a home base in Boston with two young children without my mom’s help. I counted on her for everything.  He offered me a position at MIT as a post doctoral researcher.  Again, I turned it down.  I just could not do it. 

This was shortly before Lourdes’s due date.  My beautiful Elena was about to be born. Elena is a beautiful young woman now.  She is a physical therapist treating cerebral palsy patients at Nicklaus Children’s Hospital. Elena was born in March of that year.  Cristina is a speech therapist working in the neonatal ward in Children’s Hospital of Atlanta, I am very proud of both of them. 

I never thought much about MIT until 15 years later in 2001 when Barry Sharpless received the Nobel Prize in Chemistry for the work he was doing in 1986. You kind of look back and say… What if??

I have never regretted my decision.  I know who I am and what is important to me. I have told that story to my students as a way of letting them know that they have to live their life and their dream; not someone else’s.  Others might have taken a different turn at this point.

I had forgotten all about having had the opportunity to attend MIT and work with a future Nobel Prize winner.

Recently the Chemistry Nobel Prizes were announced.  Barry Sharpless was the winner of second Nobel Prize in chemistry. This is almost unheard of.  This time I did not ask what if?  I know who I am.

Be well my friends; Fight on. 

Moose