-Ramon
I just read Ramon’s entry “A Mom To Be Proud Of”. As I usually do when I think of mom’s final
days… I cried - which made me want to share 2 stories that often help me feel
better when I miss my parents.
Mom’s Farewell
Message
The evening before mom passed away, I was at the
hospital. I took my turn to come to her
room. My mom did not look good. Her eyes were open. I could not stop obsessing that she was not
blinking. I hated that. It felt to me like she was not in peace. I knew there were a million other things wrong
– but I was obsessed with that. I wanted
to see her in peace. I wanted her to
relax.
I started to sing the refrain (which I thought was the whole
song…) of “On Eagle’s Wings”. When I was young, I would often sing that
song (refrain) to myself at night, whenever I was stressed about something that
was keeping me awake. It always gave me
a sense of peace, a feeling that God was taking care of me. I sang the refrain over and over again,
wishing my mom would feel that God was looking after her; that should could
relax and sleep.
Armando came, having come directly from work. I think Rosa was in the room as well. Shortly after Armando came, I returned to the
waiting room. Someone mentioned my
singing (I think Rosa), and asked me if I my goal was to bore her to
sleep. I said “yes”. Ramon told me that the song was not that
repetitive - there was much more to it.
I was shocked. I had not heard
the song in church in many years – but the refrain was all that I remembered,
and I thought it was the whole song.
My mom passed away the next day. The day after that, I went to church in the
morning – to St. Max. I thought, “I
need to call them and let them know about mom.” I was surprised when the priest
said her name - the mass was being
offered for her (Rosa must have called).
But what made me cry in the middle of mass, from incredible joy – was
when they played the communion song – “On Eagle’s Wings”.
I believe and will always believe that mom – as always - was looking out for me. She didn’t want me to worry. She was in peace.
Dad’s Farewell
Message
I’ve always felt that my dad had done something very
similar. He too found a way to ease my
pain shortly after he passed away.
My dad went through a lot before he passed away – too many
surgeries, with both legs having been partially amputated due to circulatory
problems. I know it sounds silly –but I
was really worried – would dad be whole when he went to heaven? I.e., would he have his legs back?
It was a few weeks after my dad passed away that I had a
dream. It was a strange dream because
although even as I dreamt, I knew that I no longer lived at home, so why, when
I finished jogging, did I come into my childhood home? I don’t know. But what really shocked me was seeing my dad
there in the living room, in his rocking chair, with a big smile on his face. I asked him what he was doing there… how
could he be there? He didn’t say anything,
but stood up slowly. I stared at his
legs, and went running to hug him. He
had a big smile and opened his arms wide.
When I got to him and tried to hug him, it was empty air, and I woke
up. The dream had felt so real, it was
painful to realize that it had been a dream.
Then I thought … my dad had come - to let me know… he was all good.
Thank you, Ana.
-Ramon
